I LAVA Shirataki Noodles!

Image swiped from http://www.shiratakinoodles.net

Okay, so WHAT THE HECK... 

TOFU.

NOODLES?!  

Right?

I am so all over this.  They're really squishy and are kind like eating worms might be.

ANYWAY.  

I'm still foodgasming over them and can't even form complete sentences.  I picked mine up at Central Fish in Downtown Fresno.  And smothered them in coconut-cream curry with sweet potato and squash and freakin' MAGIC.  Little did I know the magic was superfluous, shirataki noodles come with their own squishy low-carb magic madness. 

Can I get a Tofuck yeah?!

I LAVA Cho!

Before you start reading this post, please press play.  Lava like this cannot be expressed without the Biebs playing in the background.  

 

This week Wisconsin is going to finally lose it's virginity and California will be heartbroken when the most amazing woman I've ever met in my entire gosh-danged life moves away.

Cho is one of those friends I watched from afar before I finally got the chance to make her my very own.  She is just so damn cool.  I don't know how else to describe it.  If you were to analyze what she's made of in a lab you'd find that she's pure sex-magic and vodka.  And Bieber.

She's been my dance partner, the rational side of my brain, reigning cornhole champion and so much more.  And now Wisconsin gets her.  I hope Wisconsin appreciates all of these things.

I am going to miss you fiercely, lady of the dance floor, mistress of the mic.  I can't wait to visit you in Wisconsin and writhe on a barroom floor there with you.  <3

LAVA LAVA LAVAPANTSOFF.

WTFAMC

(Wisconsin Totally Fucking Ate My Chojze)

I LAVA my job- and you can too!

Anzula, the FANTASTIC company I work for is hiring a part time assistant!  

If you wanna freakin rock it out at an amazing yarn company and walk with me to the Fulton mall for burritos on our lunch breaks then, uh yeah, get that stinkin' resume sent off.  

Here are all of the deets.