I Lava AWOLNATION

Furthermore, I think that Aaron Bruno would love me.

This is straight off of the AWOLNATION instagram.  I'm using it as further evidence that we'd be perfect together.  I don't know how he doesn't know about me and search me out. No Grumpy Pants! Smile as often as possible! This should be a grand romance! Aaron Bruno, can't you hear my spirit calling?

Fangirling out aside, I listen to Megalithic Symphony all the time.  Like, nightly as I fall asleep and when I need to be in a better mood during the mid-afternoon slump, and when I work out. (Which I'll need to do more and more of now- First bout with Atomic Assault is in September!)  I find something new to love every time I listen.  It's so upbeat and easy to dance to.  I wish I was a better dancer so I could choreograph dances to Wake Up (which would be a killer moderny-ballet-y song!  You know what I'm talking about with all of my non-technical terms! Pointed toes and writhing!) and MF (A burlesque dance with too much attitude and the kinda hairflips that would put so much strain on my neck that my chiropractor would be in business for centuries.  Motherfucker are you listening to me?)

 

Basically, that's it.  

I just can't contain it any longer.  So I'm proposing.

Aaron Bruno, you should totally marry me.  After October 2nd.  Because I can't marry you before that without some legal issues.  Unless you're into polyandry.  Which could be fun.  

Anyway, I called it that I'd be in LAVA with you before I even saw your face.  Sail was enough for me.  

Just sayin'.  

A LAVA letter.

Dear Oliver/Oliwa,

Tonight I saw your show.  I've loved He's My Brother She's My Sister for a whopping 3 weeks- well, maybe a little longer.  But I only was able to make iTunes my bitch and get your album on payday of this month, so my true love began then.

 Quite frankly, I think you're magnificent.  A glittering ray of OMG LAVA.

I know, I know.  I totally uncomfortably talked to you while you were showing spring rolls the inside of your mouth and that's not nice of me, but dang. You gotta understand, I'm a lady raised on fangirling out to Hanson on TRL.  Playing it cool is not part of my skillz set. 

You probably have a girlfriend or boyfriend or are sworn to celibacy or something totally rock-blocking me from you, but in case you aren't just know I think you're the bee's knees.

If you would like more information I can send you my resume of fabulousness or perhaps create a powerpoint presentation for you about why I am just such a great girl to know.  Complete with clip art!!!

In the meanwhile, thanks for being colorful and wonderful and having the best smile I've ever seen.  And you know, that whole talented musician in a fun band thing. 

Guerrilla lovefare,

Burly

PS why the heck aren't you Oliver me already?  Yeesh!

Photographs courtesy of my boyfriend Yvonne.

 (And if you aren't a man with glitter-eyed glory but just reading this blog because that's what you do... do yourself a favor, treat yourself to HMBSMS.  They even have a free track for you to try before you commit.  You know how I feel about commitment.)

I Lava LavLem

What the heck?!  

Two favorites in one.  This is what happens when worlds collide.  No, not Powerman 5000.

Rather a major major Yumgasm.

When I was in LA a few weeks ago Aurora took me to Native Foods, this fantastic vegan spot that has burgers that are totally burgery and amazing but more importantly, they have lavender lemonade.  Right?  I think my words were "Shut up!"

Well, as everyone on Earth knows I am one broke-ass-bitch.  So craving a treat I was racking my brain to figure out what I could make with a can of beans, some sweet n low packets, frozen okra and peanut butter.  As I was starting to get mopey about my major sweet tooth failure I remembered the lemonade and thought "HOLY CRAP!  I have lemons!  I have lavender! MAGIC!"

A Google search led me to this recipe and I was ready to roll.

I managed to scrape up enough sugar between two open sugar bags in the wayyyy back of my pantry and several sugar packets obtained from a Starbucks (shhh!) and set to work on my lavender simple syrup. 

Simple is right.   I am so making this all the time to use with everything.  You know, once I legitimately obtain sugar after payday.

Lemons picked, I realized I have exactly 3 ice cubes.  I called my grandma because she's always prepared and asked if I could snag some ice.  As the lavender steeped in the syrup I walked down the street to fetch the things that make lemonade truly a summer treat. (How gross would it be lukewarm? Yuck!)

Simple syrup tasted a bit like honey- a treat I haven't had in a few months since the big ol vegan switch.  Already stoked. Mmmm.

So I whipped everything else together- added extra lemon though because I like my lemonade to set my teeth on edge, and took a sip.

Beverage game changer.  

If anyone has a pool party, BBQ, orgy... whatever this summer just expect this to be my contribution. 

Enough bloggin', I'm gonna kick back and listen to my new dream-BFF Lindi Ortega and freakin' love the way life looks from my front porch.

I Lava the Things That Hold Things Together.

Driving to pick my kids up at 4:45 this morning I had tears streaming down my face, and they're still coming.  Sometimes life, love can be extrememly fucking brutal.

So I was driving and feeling like the world is collapsing while trying to make it alive in the misty rain to see my babies.  Then BAM Beach Boys All Summer Long. 

It's like macaroni and cheese or clothes straight from the dryer, I was still bawling but I was singing at the top of my lungs "T-Shirts, cut offs and a pair of thongs...." through every stupid heartbreaky sob and I knew that just like all the times my dad has given me a hug and played Lovers Cross for me or my friends have responded instantly to any sign of distress, I'd make it through.

The universe is my support system, working in ways to uplift and keep me well, and little reminders like a favorite song on the radio (which rarely works, this is the real miracle in all of this) let me know it's okay.  Everything I need will come to me if I let it.

When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it. -Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist.

I Lava Dusty Springfield.

Because I'd be a damn fool not to.

I Lava Jim Croce.

This actually isn't lifting my spirits at all, I'm down down down in the dumps today and I got the line "It's been so long since I have felt fine" stuck running through my head.  I couldn't remember where it was from.  A quick Google lyrics search revealed that Jim Croce was just pulling through for me again.

Well things were spinning 'round me
And all my thoughts were cloudy
And I had begun to doubt all the things that were me

Thanks, Jim.  Every fuckin' time I need you, you have a song for me.  I lava you, it's too bad you died so young. 

(And it's not just because you're the whole reason I wanted to play Roller Derby in the first place.)

(Also, my almost-two-year-old is now in lava with Jim Croce, too.  After one verse of "These Dreams" she's sold.  She keeps demanding "Mama! More Jim, It's Beeeautifullllll!"  Good taste, this kid.)

I Lava Patsy Cline.

No one says it the way she does.

I got my first taste of Patsy from my high school boyfriend who was convinced that we should learn Patsy Cline songs and sing them to old people.  I wasn't so set on the idea- Country!  Ha!  I'd have rather hung myself with a noose of wrangler jeans.  Of course once the process of breaking up got underway, well, I discovered the merits of having a little Patsy in my life.  I still have the CD he accidentally left at my house. He'd have to fight me for it to get it back. And I've got some scrappy friends who have my back.

My biggest complaint about most pop music is that it's just so formulaic and optimistic.  Love isn't that way.  It can be happy.  It can be incredibly, deliriously happy.  But it has this dark side to it that can crush every little morsel of hope and joy you have.  It can turn a vibrant person into an outline.  Patsy's music reflected this.  And not just in lyrics, her voice was edged with such pain, longing and desperation at times that you can't help but wanna buy her a glass of wine and hold her hand through it all.  It's not like that weak shit music where they say they're miserable but it sounds like a happy love song.


Even the happier patsy songs are realistic.  Back In Baby's Arms is about recovering from a quarrel.  It's optimistic for the future, but damn. Once we found out how it hurts, I'll bet we never quarrel anymore.  

And oh boy, if you've had an unfaithful lover then you've got a friend in Patsy.  She touches on the resignation to just being in love with someone with a pattern of infidelity in Foolin Around.  And she does a heart wrenching version of Hank Williams' Your Cheatin' Heart.
 
Her music is no stranger to the other side of the cheating spectrum.  She sings about the things most people won't even touch on. Tra-la-la-la-la-la Triangle is one of my favorites because of this.  Being in love with two people, seems like there should be a plethora of music based on this but it's so taboo- there are probably piles of songs on this topic untouched.  You can't admit it, you can't even think it, let alone sing a song about it.  Patsy sings it anyway. It is kind of falsely happy which does conflict with my Maroon 5 complaint, but I like to think that it only is ironically so.  Because uh, there's a triangle Ding! in there. 

Also, A Poor Man's Roses sings to the conflict of choosing between two lovers, one who can provide for her but whom she has no spark with, another who is basically a loserbeast but she loves him anyway.  You can probably guess which one is chosen.  I'll bet mom wasn't too thrilled with that one...

She's also a great storyteller.  She takes some of those standards and transforms them.  You can see the whole thing play out as she croons "The Wayward Wind" or "South of the Border".

I leave you with one of my other favorites, "You're Stronger Than Me".  She just absolutely has to be one of my favorite vocalists and that is why I Lava Patsy Cline.