I Lava AWOLNATION

Furthermore, I think that Aaron Bruno would love me.

This is straight off of the AWOLNATION instagram.  I'm using it as further evidence that we'd be perfect together.  I don't know how he doesn't know about me and search me out. No Grumpy Pants! Smile as often as possible! This should be a grand romance! Aaron Bruno, can't you hear my spirit calling?

Fangirling out aside, I listen to Megalithic Symphony all the time.  Like, nightly as I fall asleep and when I need to be in a better mood during the mid-afternoon slump, and when I work out. (Which I'll need to do more and more of now- First bout with Atomic Assault is in September!)  I find something new to love every time I listen.  It's so upbeat and easy to dance to.  I wish I was a better dancer so I could choreograph dances to Wake Up (which would be a killer moderny-ballet-y song!  You know what I'm talking about with all of my non-technical terms! Pointed toes and writhing!) and MF (A burlesque dance with too much attitude and the kinda hairflips that would put so much strain on my neck that my chiropractor would be in business for centuries.  Motherfucker are you listening to me?)

 

Basically, that's it.  

I just can't contain it any longer.  So I'm proposing.

Aaron Bruno, you should totally marry me.  After October 2nd.  Because I can't marry you before that without some legal issues.  Unless you're into polyandry.  Which could be fun.  

Anyway, I called it that I'd be in LAVA with you before I even saw your face.  Sail was enough for me.  

Just sayin'.  

I Lava Skating!

New! New! New!

That has been the theme of 2011 and some of the things have hurt but the growth from those things has been amazing and I feel as though I, while still very raw in some spots, have been coming into my own yet again.  Metamorphosis and all of that mumbo jumbo.

Anyway, I hope you get the feeling that I'm leading up to something big.  Because I kind of am.

I've spent the last 3 months deliberating over a choice to change roller derby teams.  This isn't just like changing underwear or even switching from Pepsi to Coke. Making the choice to join a new team in a different league has the potentially devastating consequences of hurting those closest to you, and of course, there's that nagging fear of failure whenever you jump into any new situation.  I hadn't skated much (okay, just once) in the last 8 months with NOtown Roller Derby because things were just so turbulent everywhere else- remember, 2011 brought divorce, moving out, moving back in, a job switch, going from redhead to blonde (okay, not so monumental...) and all kinds of other mopey bullshitbullshitbullshit.  I couldn't really fit in skating as much as I missed it.

In the meanwhile in my new job I've been working alongside a fabulous lady who (aside from being way tanner and smarter than I am, could be my twinsie) just happens to skate on a different team.  Thus the idea was born and I've been gnawing on the gristle of it ever since.

This morning I tried out for CCAD's Atomic Assault and made the team.  I am so excited to be skating alongside these fabulous women who I am eager to get to know! Change is good, it feels cathartic and more than anything I'm just glad to be 100% excited to skate derby again. 

So to my old NOtown comrades- I have a permanent place in my heart for you.  You're strong and beautiful and I wish you all the most amazing bouts, booty blocks and bruises!

And to my new Atomic Assault teammates and everyone in CCAD- Thank you for giving me this opportunity!  I am going to have so much fun with you, let's kick ass!

I LAVA Shirataki Noodles!

Image swiped from http://www.shiratakinoodles.net

Okay, so WHAT THE HECK... 

TOFU.

NOODLES?!  

Right?

I am so all over this.  They're really squishy and are kind like eating worms might be.

ANYWAY.  

I'm still foodgasming over them and can't even form complete sentences.  I picked mine up at Central Fish in Downtown Fresno.  And smothered them in coconut-cream curry with sweet potato and squash and freakin' MAGIC.  Little did I know the magic was superfluous, shirataki noodles come with their own squishy low-carb magic madness. 

Can I get a Tofuck yeah?!

I LAVA Cho!

Before you start reading this post, please press play.  Lava like this cannot be expressed without the Biebs playing in the background.  

 

This week Wisconsin is going to finally lose it's virginity and California will be heartbroken when the most amazing woman I've ever met in my entire gosh-danged life moves away.

Cho is one of those friends I watched from afar before I finally got the chance to make her my very own.  She is just so damn cool.  I don't know how else to describe it.  If you were to analyze what she's made of in a lab you'd find that she's pure sex-magic and vodka.  And Bieber.

She's been my dance partner, the rational side of my brain, reigning cornhole champion and so much more.  And now Wisconsin gets her.  I hope Wisconsin appreciates all of these things.

I am going to miss you fiercely, lady of the dance floor, mistress of the mic.  I can't wait to visit you in Wisconsin and writhe on a barroom floor there with you.  <3

LAVA LAVA LAVAPANTSOFF.

WTFAMC

(Wisconsin Totally Fucking Ate My Chojze)

I LAVA my job- and you can too!

Anzula, the FANTASTIC company I work for is hiring a part time assistant!  

If you wanna freakin rock it out at an amazing yarn company and walk with me to the Fulton mall for burritos on our lunch breaks then, uh yeah, get that stinkin' resume sent off.  

Here are all of the deets.

I LAVA checking in: Hey little vegan, how's the eatin?

It's been 3 months, give or take a few 144 hours since I dove in and went vegan with my diet.

It's been a big deal, game changer sort of decision.

My first week freaked me out.  Even though I'd been eating Pesca/Lacto/Ova/Vegetarian for a year already it was scary imagining a life of reeeeaaaaaaly reading labels, being obnoxious at restaurants and standing on my cruelty-free soapbox to tell eaters of flesh the error of their ways.  I lived on Malt-O-Meal for a few days because I knew that at least was safe.

I was still unsure of whether I wanted to be full time vegan or if I wanted to just do a day a week, I was really really into chile relleno burritos at the time and it just seemed an insurmountable challenge. 

I started my first vegan day and after that I decided to see if I could o two in a row.  And then three.  After about 6 days I flubbed up and went on a deep fried cheese bender during the Opening Day game for the Giants.  And I felt like barfing.

See, being vegan just feels good.  Like really fucking good.  When I have a little cheese on something my tummy does flip flops, and not in that fun "in love" way.  Think more in that "Oh my god this is gonna be public and embarrassing and stinky" sort of way.

My body and I are really synced up, the food I put in processes well (and I'll leave it at that) and when I slip up (which happens a few times a week, I'm not perfect) I really notice it.  

I'm finding that I don't even miss cheese at all anymore.  I don't like the way I feel after I eat it- and what's ridiculous is how long I just put up with that feeling because I assumed it was just how eating was supposed to be.  Admittedly it got waaaaay easier to live cheese free once I tried Daiya.  I had a mouthgasm when I first tried a grilled cheese sandwich made with the stuff.  My "friend" was with me as I was eating it for the first time and I am pretty sure he was a little jealous of the sandwich as I moaned in ecstasy over the melty vegan goodness.

So what, if not cheese, do I miss now that I'm vegan?

I miss easy ordering at restaurants- some places are awesome and have tons of vegan options, others are just pure hell.  

I miss not being judged every meal- even if I don't bring it up, when I'm in a group of people as I'm ordering someone always calls attention to my order in one way or another and I'm asked a bazillion questions that usually all boil down to "How do you live without Bacon?!"

Amazingly well.

 The questioning thing has been the real challenge though.  Having to define my diet for other people.  People always want to know why I do it- and it's no one reason.  I love animals, but I'm not some uber sensitive wimp who can't deal with death.  I just don't like unnecessary suffering.  And I'm totally creeped out by eating anything that thinks and poops.  That's no different from my vegetarian days except people just ignored it and asked zero questions back then.*

I love the health benefits of going animal-free.  My skin is fantastic.  

I think I look better without makeup now than I ever have.  My stomach is calmer than it has been since I started procreating.  It's dumb but I actually feel like I'm less stressed out because I'm not eating some product of a stressed milk cow.  And I have had noticeably fewer days of self loathing directed at my body- which is badass since I haven't had to count any calories or hold back since I started this.  Face facts- when eating vegan there really aren't a ton of splurge items that I can OD on without effort. 

Another aspect of defining my veganism has been to which degree I am taking it.  I don't *always* count honey because truth be told, I fucking love that shit, but I did cut way back and now only have it in things once every few weeks.

I will no longer be purchasing anything made with leather, I never buy fur, but... and this is the big but- I will not stop using animal fiber yarn.

Day old cria!  <3

I love yarn.  I work for a yarn company.  Am I gonna stop lovin' up on cashmere?  Hell no.  

I just visited the alpaca-pals that the company I work for gets our 100% alpaca lines from.  They were so cared for and loved- she totally even knew every one of them by name. 

It's not the most vegan thing to do, but dang it, as long as I'm conscientious about the mills the yarn comes from I'll let this one slide.

And if that bugs some other vegans, whatevs.

Because ultimately, even though the animals and the environment benefit from my choice not to eat animals or their products, this is an act of loving myself and doing something that makes me feel good.

Isn't it nice to know that the LAVA we put into ourselves goes out into the world has a way of coming round full circle like that?

* I totally don't mind answering real questions. It's just the "How do you not eat ribs?!" stuff that kills me.  I'm always down to share my tips and favorite things with anyone who might want to try a vegan diet.

A LAVA letter.

Dear Oliver/Oliwa,

Tonight I saw your show.  I've loved He's My Brother She's My Sister for a whopping 3 weeks- well, maybe a little longer.  But I only was able to make iTunes my bitch and get your album on payday of this month, so my true love began then.

 Quite frankly, I think you're magnificent.  A glittering ray of OMG LAVA.

I know, I know.  I totally uncomfortably talked to you while you were showing spring rolls the inside of your mouth and that's not nice of me, but dang. You gotta understand, I'm a lady raised on fangirling out to Hanson on TRL.  Playing it cool is not part of my skillz set. 

You probably have a girlfriend or boyfriend or are sworn to celibacy or something totally rock-blocking me from you, but in case you aren't just know I think you're the bee's knees.

If you would like more information I can send you my resume of fabulousness or perhaps create a powerpoint presentation for you about why I am just such a great girl to know.  Complete with clip art!!!

In the meanwhile, thanks for being colorful and wonderful and having the best smile I've ever seen.  And you know, that whole talented musician in a fun band thing. 

Guerrilla lovefare,

Burly

PS why the heck aren't you Oliver me already?  Yeesh!

Photographs courtesy of my boyfriend Yvonne.

 (And if you aren't a man with glitter-eyed glory but just reading this blog because that's what you do... do yourself a favor, treat yourself to HMBSMS.  They even have a free track for you to try before you commit.  You know how I feel about commitment.)