I Lava a Good Ol Detox

A few weeks ago Greg, a super stud with a super podcast, asked me if I would be interested in going sugar-free with him.

I felt like I'd just been asked to prom. Like, seriously.  You know I love a good challenge.  And I really love doing something healthy.  It's always awesome to do these things with someone else- I didn't jump off the vegan cliff alone after all, I had Aurora jumping with me.  And really, who needs sugar, right?

Our official start date was last Friday- we had burritos and beer for breakfast and set to making a list of things we were going to be changing in our eating habits.  In addition to white sugar, we decided to rule out HFCS, super processed and nutritionally fucked up things like white flour, white rice, aspartame, plus all of those dirty-trickster things in health foods like "evaporated cane juice" and "organic sugar".  I bought him a bottle of agave nectar as a kick off gift.

I've started this unknowingly while PMSsing, and I survived.  I found a few (expensive) chocolate bar alternatives and have been rationing them out (meaning it lasted the WHOLE car ride home, thank you very much) and managed to make it through without any mint chip soy cream!  Honestly that was my biggest worry when he brought up the whole sugar free thing.

White flour has been really tough- Greg and I have a short but rather compulsive history with burritos, eating them one meal after another- any meal not wrapped in a tortilla is a #burritofail, after all.  So having to take the flour tortillas out of the equation has been a challenge.  Buying bread has been a challenge.  All of the whole wheat breads seems to have sugar except Daily Bread at Trader Joe's.

We're a week into it and it feels pretty good.  It was really daunting at first, we wandered around Trader Joe's for ever trying to figure out what to make, got in line and realized we hadn't picked out anything for dinner that night.  And then we got back to his place and realized we couldn't cook anyway because his gas stove wasn't working.  So we ordered a vegan pizza, NOMNOMNOMmed the heck out of it and pushed the kick off to Saturday.

But that's okay.  My favorite part of adapting to a new way of doing things is the learning curve.  I almost cried when I saw that Tofutti Cream Cheese has sugar in it.  I'm pretty sure Greg is still crying at this moment from learning that Sriracha is sugared up.  I like going from messing up on accident here and there- or even not on accident, to suddenly knowing intrinsically what's okay to eat.  I really love that moment when you realize that you're better off and not even craving whatever it is.  I had that moment with Cheese in April after opening day of baseball and going off the wagon and cheese ODing.  After all of those wonton poppers and cheese sticks and the tummy ache that ensued I haven't backslid since.

I'm excited about this, I'm pretty sure that sugar free is going to be a decision that's gonna stick.  White flour still seems like a challenge instead of a change, but maybe in time that too will come. 

I just really LAVA feeding my body the things it needs.

I Lava EFT

EFT, or Emotional Freedom Techniques, is a game changer for me.  EFT is a way of alleviating problems via knocking out the emotional impact that we have associated with painful, traumatic or stunting experiences.
It has helped people experience relief from phobias, depression, PTSD and even physical conditions.  It can be used as a tool to help with therapy or as a way of clearing out emotional baggage that is preventing you from being your best and functioning at 100%.

I turned to EFT because, well... this blog has an archive.  Just read through March 2011 and I'm pretty sure you'll be able to see that 2011 hasn't been the easiest year.  I've been emotionally dicked around by someone who I gave far too much of myself to with very little reciprocation.  EFT seemed a little too crystals and nag champa and wearing crinkly flowy skirts to coven meetings for me. (Not that there's anything wrong with those things, just because I'm an asshole doesn't mean that people don't find a ton of fulfillment and meaning at The Brass Unicorn.  I'm probably jealous.)

EFT also seemed easy, cheaper than a shrink and healthier than a drink.

So I watched a buncha YouTube videos on it, downloaded some free material, bought The EFT Manual for my Kindle and taped up the diagram of tapping points on my mirror, along with the "Even though________________, I accept and forgive myself." phrase and started in.

My first session I went for a long time.  I didn't really realize that you only really need to tap for a few minutes on whatever you're working on.  Yeah, this shit works wonders in MINUTES.  I tapped furiously, I focused on the hurt, the anger, the bewilderment, shame, sadness, isolation, confusion and everything else that came along with my relationship with this person, picturing the incidents that affected me the worst- the time I hit my head on the kitchen sink, the failed attempts for validation of my feelings, the drunken I Love You's and sober I don't and I can't and I won'ts.  All of the goddamned Ryan Adams.

I was actually physically ill afterward, and kinda bruised.

Don't do that.  Well, physically ill is okay- you're tapping on acupressure points, one of which is connected to the tummy so obviously along with expelling a bunch of shit from your emo-stream-o, you'll be likely to feel a bit off.  But you don't have to tap til it hurts.   Just tap.

The results were immediate.  What had been a nagging heartache that I'd been carrying with me was gone.  I felt light.  I could drive by his neighborhood on my way to the grocery store and not feel the urge to turn down his street.  I could listen to Pavement and watch my favorite TV shows that I happened to watch with him without feeling sick or angry.

I haven't had one angry rant about him in almost a month.  Before I'd complain to anything that would listen, alive or inanimate.

In the meanwhile my self esteem has been repairing.  People are noticing I have a spring in my step- my ex husband/father of my children/best friend even noticed it in my voice.  I probably look pretty pleased with myself all the time.

So this is what it felt like to be a true-blue optimist before I invited in the pessimist.  I'd almost forgotten in one year of bullshit the happy way I'd felt my entire life leading up to it.

I've been tapping on other issues as well and noticing major results in all kinds of fun ways- skating with more confidence and aggression, less complaining, more smiling, feeling really contented, and really truly believing that I won't ever get into a manipulative, one sided and completely unhealthy relationship ever again.

I knew it was working when I saw my reflection in a mirror and without thinking about it I blurted out "I am way too good for _______."

So I'm blogging this, and getting fairly personal about it, in order to maybe help you find some peace of mind.  EFT works because it tackles the things medicine can't touch- the emotional cause of problems.  It's not like it erases it- I still think of he-who-shall-not-be-named here and there but it's completely absent of the emotional charge that it was rife with before.  Robbed of that heavy emotional burden the memories are just echoes of a past hurt that can't touch me anymore.

I'm still not sure that I'd be successful in a relationship yet, but I'm confident that I'm headed down the right path and when things are triggered I now have the tools to fight them off for good. I definitely know I'm on the mend.

I made a video. It's a little long and I apologize but I talk a bit more about EFT, give a few other examples of how it's helping and do a demo that's probably not very helpful.  I also am listing links to resources so you can get started if you'd like to try it.  I'd be glad to answer any questions or help out if needed!

I really LAVA this easy-peasy way of becoming the best I have ever been.

http://galadarling.com/article/eft
http://www.emofree.com/
http://www.amazon.com/EFT-Manual-Emotional-Freedom-Techniques/dp/1604150300
http://www.amazon.com/EFT-Sports-Performance-Gary-Craig/dp/1604150521/ref=sr_1_7?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1321350619&sr=1-7

I Lava Dark Closets

Remember my Lavender obsession this summer?

Well, somehow I had forgotten about it, until I opened the closet that has my water heater in it and I noticed that I'd hung some lavender upside down to dry from the ceiling and in the very back on a shelf I'd put a bottle where I was making Lavender oil. 

It may be a bit chilly outside but I totally have the summer tonight!

I Lava Pajamajeans

 

 Everyone knows how much I love yoga pants, I'd be a total idiot not to love them.  

I posed the question "Would you still be my friend if I had an entire wardrobe of Pajamajeans?" to a few friends and the results were pretty evenly split between "Absolutely!" and "Absolutely not!"  

That, to me, was a challenge.

I bought my first pair after much deliberation- you know,  picking up the box and putting it back down every time I went to CVS.  Pajamajeans are a commitment to the American Way, and I had to be certain I was ready to make that bold statement.  Well, that and I needed $39.99 to feel justified.  

Finally I found the perfect excuse.  Not only is it getting colder outside, but I've gotten fatter since the last time it was pants time.  

I was sick (to hear me bitch about it I was likely on my deathbed.)  and not in the mood to look cute enough for a skirt and leggings, my yoga pants were dirty and I had some soup and grilled "cheese" that needed making.  So I stopped at CVS and bought some.  

Now, I thought I was being a little optimistic about my hips when I grabbed a medium, but I just barely squeezed in.  They run pretty true to the waist size on the box, so if you're a medium/large cusp person you'll probably wanna go a size up.  

They feel like yoga pants, but with the perk of turning your arms and legs blue if you wear before washing.  That was fun to shave off in the shower the next day.

I am sold. I wore them, fell into bed with them, got up and immediately got burritos for breakfast in them and cruised on with my day.  See, this takes the hassle out of changing clothes.  Ever.

My only complaint is that I didn't buy them sooner, I LAVA the pajamas you live in, the jeans you sleep in.