I Lava Skincare.

My whole life I have been really lazy about skincare. 

Like, really lazy. 

Like, maybe I'll put some soap on my face, or off and on use of generic brand facial cleansers after roller derby practices and whore-makeup nights.  Nothing fancy.

Lucky me I've been blessed with clear skin, and on top of that I look anywhere from 6-10 years younger than I am.  Basically, anti-aging hasn't been at the top of my to-do list.

Until someone guessed my age and was within 4 years of it.  The shock! I usually can pull off 19, 17 on a really high energy day.  Most guesses are at around 21 years old.  But then someone suggested 24 and I freaked out.  Immediate mirror check revealed little wrinkles, dry skin, big-ass pores and years of neglect.  In a panic, I bought Oil of Olay Definity moisturizer because it claimed to fix horror-case faces like mine.  As a result, my skin feels soft. It feels moist. And when I think of moist, I think of cake.  Cake is always good.

I can't leave well enough alone, though.  I bought some Neutrogena stuff that not only claims to fight wrinkles, but it also will help banish the one zit a month I get when I PMS.  Awesome.  I like how it spooges onto my hand like a porn star and then creams up once it hits my face.

Encouraged by this I grabbed some Oil of Olay Total Effects Wet Cleansing Cloths.  I'm an on the go girl.  I can't be tied down to a sink! Love them, it's like baby wipes, but all grown up to be a 7-signs-of-aging-crime fighter!

And of course, a pore scrub.  Which smells like old lady perfume but feels niiiice. Scrub-a-dub!


I've become a junkie.  And hey- surprise, surprise- my skin looks pretty dang awesome now too.  I don't know if my wrinkles are vanishing because I think I made them all up in my head, but at least I haven't been called mid-twenties in a few weeks.  Just straight up barely-legal and that's how I plan to stay forever until I have to rely on drinking the blood of the innocent to keep it up.