I Lava Revolutions

Tomorrow is June 1st, marking the middle of the year.  For the last few years I've used this as a time to re-evaluate how I'm doing and where I stand.  You know, the whole "What am I doing to reach my goals- omigod, can I even identify my goals?" kind of thing. 

If at the new year we make resolutions, I try make these mid year check-ins revolutions- something I unwittingly wrote one new years eve in junior high in my diary.  

From where I'm sitting right now things look pretty incredible. I have dealt with depression for the last several months but as I'm searching for the reason I'm having a hard time articulating it.  I'm just so happy these days that all of the shit that I've put up with is not even computing.  Thank God.  Bury that crap.

In January I listed a bunch of frivolity that was making me happy and I was using that as a good jumping off point for what I had hoped would lead to happiness.  But really, all the fancy makeup in the world can't cover up the real problems.  Since January I've ended my marriage, had an intense and impossible roommate, made new and beautiful friends and learned the importance of the old standby BFF's who put up with everything and still dole out the love.  I've moved back into the house I love, started working at a job that is everything I've ever wanted from a workplace and started learning to separate the people from my life who are polluting the rest of the things around me.  I've taken control of my diet and am eating things that make me feel good, and not in just an in-the-moment-in-mah-mouf sort of way.  The way i'm eating is giving me a clear conscience.  Going vegan is atoning for my sins in a way.  

I'm still a big slob and a mess but I'm doing better about it, I'm taking more time to read with my kids and play dress up.  

I am feeling so creative and so full of love for everything and everyone around me that I can't help but believe that the second half of this year is going to more than make up for the pain and sadness of the first half. 

I have a few projects that combine my love for Fresno and my hobby of crochet dancing around in my brain- hopefully I can get those going this summer.  I'm ready to start skating again.  

I've been trying to include meditation in my day to find my center.

Things are good and they're only getting better.  

Viva Lava Revolution!