I Lava Mary-Kate and my Fast-Pass to Hell

Sacrilegious?  I'd like to think it's sacrilicious.

I'm sure you all remember my tribute to Mandy Moore.  What?  No?  Damn.

Well, I've done it again.  This time it solved two problems.  The other telephone nook in my house needed love.  It looked like shit because it had become the catchall for bills, photos I didn't know what to do with, Applebees gift cards... you name it, I had it tucked away in there.

And of course, I had to find a home for my Saint Mary-Kate print from Aurora Lady.

I can't be the only one with the whole "What do I do with this dang art?" dilemma. Like, I order it, I sit waiting for the mail every day, I get it and then it sits because I keep thinking "Oh, Imma get a frame next week." and then the frames all suck because I don't want my beloved piece of artwork to be stuck in something bo-o-o-o-ring or not complimentary for the rest of it's life, right?  So it sits.  I did this with the I Love You Gala Darling original I got from Aurora Lady as well, and it seriously took 2 months to find a great frame.

So anyway, I've had her sitting for almost a month now and enough is enough, you know?  I'd hate to see this become a really dumb cycle to get into with really great art.

So I made an altar for her.  Duh.

 

What I did (and you can do too!):

•  Placed the print in a sheet protector to keep it safe!
• Cut out the shape of my telephone nook with a piece of cardboard- I actually used the backing from another print I purchased last year- a Nikki McClure for my kitchen.
• Decoupaged the heck outta it.  For this I used all of the cosmetics packaging I haven't had the heart to throw away and some Mod-Podge and glitter.
• Glued the sheet protector to the cardboard collage of awesomeness
• Threw a few Mary-Kate quotes on there for good measure
• Hot glued three of my cutest cosmetics boxes to the backing for added dimension
• Put Aurora Lady's Cathedral of Rebellion buttons on a ribbon and hung it just outside of the nook. (I got the ribbon from the handle of the Victoria's Secret bag I used to line the cardboard with before I started making the collage)
• Printed a picture of MK and Mod-Podged it onto a prayer candle.  Added Glitter.
• Lit the candle and thanked St. Mary-Kate for the Olsenboye dress I was wearing today.

...aaaand for good measure, one more look at my Mandy Moore altar.

Please note that Ryan Adams is under her skirt.  Where he belongs.

It's probably good that I only have one more feasible altar spot left in my house because I'm pretty sure I've offended Catholics and celebs alike with my antics.  And I kinda lava the hell outta that.

I Lava Coming Back.

Today is a big day.

I'm moving back into my house.  Okay, it's not my house- I rent it from my grandmother, but it is the home that she grew up in.  My mom was here all the time because she grew up 3 houses down.  I was here all the time to visit my great grandmother.

It's a BFD of a house.

Last night I also came home in another way.  It's kinda superficial but lets face it, we love it that way too.

I pulled my hair back to blonde.  Or something like that.  It's actually this really golden orange.  I was gonna put some "normal" blonde dye over it but decided I like looking like Princess Peach right now.  It's a futhermuckin goal of mine.

Check that off yo' bucket list!

So without further ado (and because I'm gonna get bitchcrazy about the house in a later blog I'm sure) here's the hair.  And my makeup.  Shit, like I'd forget that!

First of all, the before.  I made it small.  It's so last week. Psssh!

 I used Color Oops to get the red out, and it worked pretty well for not being super harsh.  My hair feels a little dry but not completely traumatized- the box even says you can turn right around and dye your hair the same day, so that's kinda badass.  It didn't remove all of the dye, but it's way better than dark freakin' red meets superblonde roots.  I panicked because my roommate told me I looked his age- my roots looked gray not blonde!  Panic, right? I can't be THAT OLD.  

I'm hoping he reads this and knows I'm being a total dick about his age right now.  It's out of love, I'm sure.

Anyway, leave the stuff on your hair for 20 minutes, rinse for 20 minutes.  That's right.  Hold your head under the stream of water for 20 minutes.  Talk about an arduous task.  I am a big fan of splash and go showers, I don't like to use more water than I need and I'm a mom.  Any shower taking more than 7 minutes is a shower that opens up too much opportunity for toddlers to ruin everything.  

Apparently Color Oops does something that makes the molecules that hold color clear (uh, what?) and while it's in and when you rinse it it just washes away. Okay.  

It works, I'm happy. And I'm back to normal.  Ish.  

WIWT Makeup

Benefit Hello Flawless

Cover Girl brow pencil (someday i'm gonna do something about my brows.  Promise.)

Tokidoki Momobella blush

Eyes

Urban Decay Primer Potion in Sin

Urban Decay Ransom, Graffiti and Peace

Sugarpill Dollipop (just in the inside corners)

Tokidoki Candycane everywhere.  I love the stuff!

Cargo HD blu_ray Mascara

Lips

Lined with Sugarpill Dollipop

A dab of Lime Crime Airborne Unicorn

Slathered with LORAC Multiplex 4D (You can get this and another pretty color for $28 here.  One usually goes for $22.)

I Lava Sugarpill!

I've really wanted a great orange color for my eyes.

Something that will say "Yo, I have orange freakin' eyelids, jackass!"

I don't know if you've noticed, but orange is a hard color to come by.  In the Sephora in our JCPenneys the only orange I've found is by Make Up Forever... and I'm pretty sure we only just got it in this week.

Anywho, Sugarpill has been getting a ton of good buzz all over the internet, and really gorgeous people with amazing makeup skillz have been just churning out tutorial after pretty tutorial using Sugarpill.  I don't like to miss out on anything and I noticed that there was a pretty badass looking orange eyeshadow called "flamepoint" so I was sold. It officially was time to woman up, order some and see for myself what's so great about this stuff.

I ordered two other colors- to complete my "my eyes look like a sunset" trifecta- Dollipop and Buttercupcake.  With names like those how could I go wrong?  Answer is: I couldn't.  Holy crap.

I'm a sucker for packaging and Sugarpill had me at "OH HELL YES!" with the whole free sticker, free sample, omg a-cat-cuddling-a-pill thing going on.

I figured I'd do a few different looks.  I'm not a makeup expert, I'm just a really easily exciteable girl, so both of my looks look... similar.  But the sentiment is there.  The first run was all three.  So was the second. Shut up.  So here's what we have:

I used Urban Decay's Sin Primer Potion underneath and the colors popped beautifully and dramatically.

I swept Dollipop into the crease, brought some Flamepoint in at the middle because I love yellow and need it to stand out as much as possible, I did the inner corner with Buttercupcake.  The colors blended really well, I didn't have any trouble getting it to feel like a cohesive work of art, and I lined the lower lid with Flamepoint and Buttercupcake layered one over the other with really delightful results.  Overall I loved the application.

But then the day wore on.

We all know how completely unstable I am, this is no surprise.  So when I fuh-lipped out on my poor roommate and quickly dissolved into tears (to his pleading voice saying "No!  Don't cry, your pretty makeupppppppp!") I figured my first time around the block with Sugarpill was doomed to end up a neon river down my face, and if it was a really good tantrum, maybe cascading down onto my chest too.

When I looked in the mirror though post breakdown my mascara was gunky and gross, but holy cow- the Sugarpill survived.

/maiden voyage.


My second look I wanted was the one I initially needed orange for- baseball season.  This is my first attempt at SF Giants' Rally Eyes!

Once again I used Urban Decay Sin Primer, and then I just started brushing copious amounts of orange onto my whole lid.  I really love how Sugarpill layers and it got really intense where I wanted it to.  I then threw Buttercupcake into the inside corners because I just really love that, and I swept a teensy bit of Dollipop in the creases just to make the orange pop a little more.  The only non-sugarpill part of the look is the bit of Urban Decay Zero that I lightly lined the upper lid with (Gotta have orange AND black!  Go Giants!) and Tokidoki Candycane that I used to highlight the brow.  And you know, duh, the mascara (Cargo blu_ray).

So it was time for a game-face test drive.

OMG IS THAT TIM LINCECUM!?!?!?!?1?!?!?!?1!!

 Yeah, It's official.  I really LAVA Sugarpill.

I Lava WIWT: Fulton 55 Edition

 Also known as It's my party and I'll Bieb if I want to.

Yesterday was my birthday.  Headed to Fulton 55 with the best friends money can buy a girl could get naturally and by no means of bribery whatsoever.  It was the Motel Drive show, duh!  Their last show I showed up to and left after a few songs because I was held tightly in the icy-cold grasp of the bug that would not go away.  I am pretty sure I coughed phlegm on this nice boy who I led me through some awkward dance moves. (I can't actually dance other than interpretive karaoke at The Brig.)  So in other words, I was ready to rock(abilly) my ass into 28.

We started at the Iron Bird Cafe and I had a Cosmopolitan.  Lavender in my coffee served in a martini glass. It's a dream come true.  And Patrick Contreras was playing, BONUS.  And Cho got us Dusty Buns Bistro.  Um, can you say Fresnorgasm?  This was just the pregame.  The tailgate party, if you will.  

 

 Fulton 55 is this great venue right across from Iron Bird.  I like their bathrooms.  Don't expect any other review of the place.  This is a What I Wore Today post, it's entirely about me.

Cho is the best dance partner.

And Burg partner

What I Wore:

Skull Anchor Rock Steady Sailor Dress
Xhilaration Sequined Cardigan
Those special leggings I love so dearly
I need new shoes.  I wear these Jacqueline Ferrar shoes everywhere.  Some day they'll fall apart.

Justin Bieber feather hair clip made by Cho
Flower clip made by me
Veggie Burger made by Denny's

Makeup

Eyes:
Urban Decay Eye Shadow Primer Potion
UD Fishnet, Ransom, Honey, Peace and Shag, with a little of my what the hell is this pink color I own, will it turn my eyes to stone?
Cargo HD Mascara

Face:
Make Up For Ever primer
Cover Girl Mineral shit
Some other translucent finisher.  I don't know.  I just put it on.  What the fuck ever.

Lips:
Urban Decay Revolution
Cargo Reverse Lip Liner
LORAC Multiplex 3D lipgloss

I Lava Birthdays.

(Cake made by my AMAZING friend Yesenia.  How did I get so lucky to have friends like this?)

 I Lava Birthdays.

I do.  I worked all night last night doing inventory at JCPenneys and I could FEEL myself turn 28.  I looked over to my friend Rob and said "Is it midnight yet?" and he checked his phone and BAM 12:00 on the nose.  I can sense a day that is all about me.

So I had a burrito as soon as I was off work, at 3:30 AM.  Who was gonna say no?  It's my birthday, gimme a Chile Relleno Burrito, bitch!

28 is a weird one for me.  I have never imagined life after 28.  Whenever I create ridiculous scenarios in my mind of things that are fabulous that I want to have happen I've always imagined them happening at 28.  Brian Wilson and Tim Lincecum fighting over me?  28.  Finding out the Weasley Twins are REAL and both still alive (that liar, JK Rowling!) and wanting to manhandle me? 28.  (They were 28 too, I adjusted their ages... I'm not that much of a creep) Writing a book that is just as crappy as Twilight and makes it bigger than Twilight?  28.  Every daydream took place here because it felt like a good number.  One where I'd have my shit sorted out enough to handle all of the good things the universe wanted to throw my way. 

I have a lot of expectations for this year of my life.


And even though I have nothing settled, I'm getting to a place where I want to be.  Hard decisions are still coming up, I can feel them welling up in my eyes every time I think about them, but I know I can do what I have to do to make my world a better place for me.  And when I'm happy I can be a better friend, daughter, mother.

So where does 28 begin?  Last night one of the first things I handled in this new era was a $9,999.99 tahitian pearl necklace while doing inventory.  First I said "damn", as did my inventory buddy Alton. And then I said "I can buy a lot of ice cream with that much money."  And I think that accurately descibes where I start.

Simple.  Cutting back, scaling down.  Identifying the things that matter and making them huge, cutting out the things that are tertiary.  More time with my kids, less TV.  More friends, less facebook.  More makeup.  More makeup.  More makeup.  Seeing myself in a positive light because I am a positive girl, stop stooping and rounding my shoulders and feeling just so sad.   More love, less commitment.  I'm being honest here.  More singing.  More singing.  More singing. Loudly. 

28 is going to be a beautiful thing, I'm going to have a pie fight.  I'm going to New Orleans. I'm going to learn burlesque.  I'm going to read and read and read. (On my new Kindle!  Thanks, Mom!)  I'll learn to knit so I can bistitchual.  I'm going to find utter and absolute joy whenever I can, and if I find myself miserable I'm going to force some joy by singing Ke$ha and watching everyone grimace. 

More Ke$ha.  Okay, not that much more Ke$ha.

I may not write the next big shitty teen-romance series but I am going to schedule in time to write every week. In my new Filofax, which is at my side at every step.  Because 28 is getting down to fuckin' business.

I'm going to protect my heart by staying friends with Doug, not getting upset over every little thing and completely baffling everyone and their expectations of how a divorce should go.  Just because you can't live with someone anymore doesn't mean you ever stop loving them on some basic level.  He's the father of the two most beautiful people on earth and I will always love him for that.  Nobody could father them better.

Here we go 28, I Lava you already.  Let's make some magic.

And I end this with Hanson's gift to me... the Give a Little video.  LAVA TO THE MAX.

I Lava Circus Girl.

It's been a lot of makeup on my LAVAlist lately, and I'm completely fine with that.

Today I went to my mailbox and Circus Girl, a loose eye shadow from Lime Crime was in there waiting for me.

I'm nicknaming it my game changer.  This is a gorgeous yellow that can be muted and light or super bright.

I of course opt for super bright.

I had to play with it immediately and yeah, it lived up to all of my expectations.

 I feel so pretty and cute now, even though I'm in a pair of Doug's "Guitar Hero" pajama pants and an old T-shirt.

Yellow is exactly what I needed.  Game Changing.  Life changing?  Maybe.

What I'm wearing:
Forever 21 Bow
Bakersfield Rollergirls  T
Pink- Torrid
Yellow- Circus Girl- Lime Crime
Purple liner on bottom- Cargo
Gold- Diva- Lime Crime
Lips- Tobago- Cargo Classic Lip Gloss
Cargo Reverse Lip Liner
Covergirl Tru Blend Minerals Translucent Fair

So there you have it.   LAVA.  LAVA SO FREAKIN' HARD.

I Lava Playing With New Makeup.

So I'm easily influenced and impulsive and having the Sephora inside JCPenneys is just bad bad bad news.

A few weeks back when I was buying my Toki Doki brushes I overheard a few of the Sephora folks talking toa customer about how impressed they were that she was buying Cargo and how much they love it and how no one really knows about it and its a damn shame blah blah blah.

So of course it cemented in my mind that I had to have it.

Luckily, at this very moment we have these fabulous gift sets that feature a 4-color eyeshadow palette, mascara, lip liner and some lip gloss.  $85 of makeup for only $25 bucks.  That's cheaper than the palette alone. 

So (and yes, I realize every paragraph is starting with "so") I bought it after walking by and holding my hand out and grasping at the air every time I passed by with a rack while taking Alfred Dunner matching sets to the floor so people like my grandmothers will have clothing to fawn over.

 No Makeup at all. 

 Implements of destruction.

 All made up.  Awww.

 OH NO LOOK WHAT HAPPENED OHHHH NOOOOOOOOO!

Okay, enough of that.  Here's a video of what I thought and all of the stuff in it.

Things to note:  My eyes are red.  Not because I'm a pothead but because I have almost 3 month old contacts in my eyes.  I'll be buying more tomorrow.  Also, I'm obsessed with shake weights.  That's the best explanation I can give for the Shake Weight homage at the end...

I lava new stuff.

I Lava Sephora in JCP.

Okay, so I work at JC Penneys which has the RAD-ASS PERK of an associate discount.

Um, yeah.

So I spend a LOT of time in the Sephora we have in store (even though there is another one on the mall elsewhere).

So uh, today I made BFF's with my new eye makeup brush set.

tokidoki.  Awesome.  The last one there.  I've lusted after it for months and now it's mine.  MINE!

It's all part of my plan to buy rewards for myself every two weeks I keep with my calorie tracking in hopes of getting my ass less terrifying and more tight.  I'm in major lava with eye makeups right now, why not make that my non-food reward?  Having these cute brushes will just make it that much more enticing to eat right so I can justify buying all of the limecrime and sugarpill I can stomach.  Within reason, of course.