I Lava Birthdays.

(Cake made by my AMAZING friend Yesenia.  How did I get so lucky to have friends like this?)

 I Lava Birthdays.

I do.  I worked all night last night doing inventory at JCPenneys and I could FEEL myself turn 28.  I looked over to my friend Rob and said "Is it midnight yet?" and he checked his phone and BAM 12:00 on the nose.  I can sense a day that is all about me.

So I had a burrito as soon as I was off work, at 3:30 AM.  Who was gonna say no?  It's my birthday, gimme a Chile Relleno Burrito, bitch!

28 is a weird one for me.  I have never imagined life after 28.  Whenever I create ridiculous scenarios in my mind of things that are fabulous that I want to have happen I've always imagined them happening at 28.  Brian Wilson and Tim Lincecum fighting over me?  28.  Finding out the Weasley Twins are REAL and both still alive (that liar, JK Rowling!) and wanting to manhandle me? 28.  (They were 28 too, I adjusted their ages... I'm not that much of a creep) Writing a book that is just as crappy as Twilight and makes it bigger than Twilight?  28.  Every daydream took place here because it felt like a good number.  One where I'd have my shit sorted out enough to handle all of the good things the universe wanted to throw my way. 

I have a lot of expectations for this year of my life.


And even though I have nothing settled, I'm getting to a place where I want to be.  Hard decisions are still coming up, I can feel them welling up in my eyes every time I think about them, but I know I can do what I have to do to make my world a better place for me.  And when I'm happy I can be a better friend, daughter, mother.

So where does 28 begin?  Last night one of the first things I handled in this new era was a $9,999.99 tahitian pearl necklace while doing inventory.  First I said "damn", as did my inventory buddy Alton. And then I said "I can buy a lot of ice cream with that much money."  And I think that accurately descibes where I start.

Simple.  Cutting back, scaling down.  Identifying the things that matter and making them huge, cutting out the things that are tertiary.  More time with my kids, less TV.  More friends, less facebook.  More makeup.  More makeup.  More makeup.  Seeing myself in a positive light because I am a positive girl, stop stooping and rounding my shoulders and feeling just so sad.   More love, less commitment.  I'm being honest here.  More singing.  More singing.  More singing. Loudly. 

28 is going to be a beautiful thing, I'm going to have a pie fight.  I'm going to New Orleans. I'm going to learn burlesque.  I'm going to read and read and read. (On my new Kindle!  Thanks, Mom!)  I'll learn to knit so I can bistitchual.  I'm going to find utter and absolute joy whenever I can, and if I find myself miserable I'm going to force some joy by singing Ke$ha and watching everyone grimace. 

More Ke$ha.  Okay, not that much more Ke$ha.

I may not write the next big shitty teen-romance series but I am going to schedule in time to write every week. In my new Filofax, which is at my side at every step.  Because 28 is getting down to fuckin' business.

I'm going to protect my heart by staying friends with Doug, not getting upset over every little thing and completely baffling everyone and their expectations of how a divorce should go.  Just because you can't live with someone anymore doesn't mean you ever stop loving them on some basic level.  He's the father of the two most beautiful people on earth and I will always love him for that.  Nobody could father them better.

Here we go 28, I Lava you already.  Let's make some magic.

And I end this with Hanson's gift to me... the Give a Little video.  LAVA TO THE MAX.