I Lava Timmy.

It's pretty well known.  I don't know why I'm actually writing this, its not like I'll ever have a day where I'll wake up and say "oh life is so bleak, I wish I could think of some sexy athlete to obsess over."  It's kinda second nature now.  Breathe in, think about Timmy dancing on top of a Jaguar in a Whitesnake video.  Breathe out, plan ways to let Timmy know I exist. 

Wait, you say you may not quite remember who I'm talking about? (do you know me at all?!)  Well let me introduce you.

Tim Lincecum of the San Francisco Giants.  I'm pretty sure some day we'll be an item and the tabloids will call him Tim Burly.  But I'd honestly settle for just a restraining order, those can be more lasting than relationships anyway.

Talk about Cy YUM.

Anyway, it started silly-like, I put a few pictures of him on my derby helmet so I could use him as my spirit animal in times of trouble.

(With Buster Posey, what a stud!)

Than came the Lincecumderwear, an idea of Aurora's that I couldn't pass up.

Photo by Jennifer Emerling

A little Timmy figurine that goes everywhere I go and has adventures with me.

Little known fact you won't find on his Wikipedia, he's Charlie Sheen's conscience.

And the Timmy Shirt, 20 bucks, but damn, I had to have it once I saw it...

Photo by Jennifer Emerling

...and the inevitable Timmy Hair Clip...

Photo by... you got it.  That little minx Jennifer Emerling.

But today I created possibly the pièce de résistance of my collection of growing insanity...

A Tim Lincecum Pearl Necklace.

Yes, it is lewd.

Yes, it is crude.

And OMIGOD, Timmy, you'll you'll love this when we finally meet and you look in my rabidfancrazy eyes.  Because you'll be high.You'll probably love it so much you'll want to give me your own.  I won't object.

AKA the Tim Lincecum On Your Neck.

I lava you hard, Timmy.  Oh, and I think you're a pretty great pitcher, too.